Poem about or Maybe You also Died

FATHER

you

were supposed to

come

to the city

today

YOU were supposed to

come

TODAY to ME

but

Father

I waited

for you to come to the city today

to take me home

come earlier

my brother said

father should come

today

today

my friend left

and father

I waited

for you to come

you know I

want father to die

father is sick

and you know I

would like if father

killed himself

today when everyone was arguing

everyone laughed when I spoke

you know I said

I want father to die

the sun made me sweat like an animal

I was in the desert and couldn’t see

any camels or people

I was alone

and I couldn’t even dream of tired people

crossing the sands like in novels by Fowles

and I don’t know why father

but I didn’t feel sick

I knew you should be coming

father I heard

you got really sick

someone could say

you’re on the outs father

you have kidney problems and

today when I went on the balcony to smoke

the sky the earth

seemed like a large unbearable kidney

with stones instead of stars

you’re

sick

and I

can’t

do

anything-anything

but this

it’s better

if you die father

Dante travelled through hell

purgatory heaven to get

to see

simply

the sky and stars

and you should die

father

my streets have gone dark

like thoughts

today I’m only thinking about you

yesterday I wanted to tell a woman

I loved you and I will love you

forever

no one can ever

change this for you,

I can’t you can’t

but these

wandering thoughts

weren’t for her

and

I get off the trolleybus

my legs start

running

truly everything depends

on you

I don’t know if you’re there

but I want to get there faster

to open the door

and even if you were always so calm

today I want to open the door

and unclench my fists

father I want

to open the door

and tell you